Secret Sister Weekend and My Not So Secret Secret

Every year my aunts and some of my cousins and sisters (whoever can make it or whoever can make it a priority...did I just say that out loud!?!) get together the second weekend in October. It's called Secret Sister Weekend. We eat food, see the sights, catch up and drink wine. This year the wine part was something I was nervous about. I was only 4 wks and 4 days pregnant that wkend. (now I'm 5 wks and 3 days which I know is still early)

Before I left Friday I said to my husband that I would try not to tell anyone about me being pregnant yet (like I said before he wants to wait until I'm further along). As I was driving out to my mom's to meet her I was thinking "I can do this. I can keep this a secret." I was more telling myself this than anything else. I've never been good at keeping secrets. Especially one's about myself. I'm an open book. It's therapeutic for me to talk to ppl. It's really hard for me to keep something locked inside.

The second I saw my mom I wanted to yell "I'm pregnant! You're going to be a grandma!" But I didn't. We talked small talk and left for lunch. At lunch we actually talked about how she felt when she was pregnant. Which I tried to play off as casual convo. Then we left to meet up with everyone else at the cottage we were renting.

My Mom and I unpacked and then waited for the others to get there. The next person there was my Aunt Janet. The first thing she says when she walks through the door is that she brought 5 bottles of wine. She then sets them on the table and produces a stack of cups with names on them. Of course she has one with my name on it. Immediately I am nervous and anxious. I don't want my mom to find out I'm pregnant on her own. I want to tell her. I could just refuse the wine which she is pouring for herself and my mom at this very moment. It wouldn't be strange to decline a glass of wine the first time but this is going to go on all weekend. How can I avoid this all weekend. It's at this point I decide to tell her. I can't keep it in anymore.

I walk up to her and my aunt. I look my mom in eyes and grab her hand and say "Mom I can't have any wine". She says "What why?" I repeat myself and then she gets teary-eyed because she's starting to catch on. Then my aunt says "Jane she's pregnant! You're going to be a grandma!" Then my mom puts her hand on my stomach (which she already has a habit of doing now) and asks me some questions. She can't believe I didn't tell her at lunch. I tell my Aunt and her that I dont' want everyone to know. However all their yelling after they found out brings my Aunt Joyce running down the stairs. So now it's 2 aunts and my mom that know. I repeat that I dont' want them to tell anyone and they all agree to keep it quiet.

The next person I tell is my sister Sarah. The whole group took a walk down to the beach. I got Sarah to walk away from the group. It was such a pretty night. The moon was bright. You could see fog on the water and the pier was glowing off in the distance. I grabbed her hand and put it on my stomach and said "You're going to be a Auntie!" I think she said something like "really are you serious?" She was excited. It was fun to tell her. One down....2 more sisters to go.

Besides some friends at work I haven't told anyone else yet. Maybe soon though.

I wanted to share how I've been feeling during wk 5. I feel tired. I seem to get nausea after I eat which I think is weird. It seems to peek its ugly head at 4 am on the nights I work. So far I haven't actually thrown up but maybe I would feel better if I did. The thing that is the worst is that my boobs hurt. Which I get around my period normally but this is a lot worse. I can barely sleep on my stomach! Other than all that I feel good. I seem to have lost some weight. Probably because I don't have much of an appetite.

Tomorrow Josh and I leave for Traverse City! Probably the last trip we take before we become parents. I hope I feel good!