More Scary

After my scary bleeding Thursday to Friday the bleeding stopped. That made me feel much better. Even tho it was replaced by constant nausea. (which I think was more my anxiety than anything else). Monday night I went into work and at 4 AM Tuesday morning I felt some pressure again. Sure enough the bleeding had started again. At this point I feel like crying. I drag my way through the remainder of my shift and go to bed hoping it will stop. I wake up and I'm still spotting. At this point I decide to take another PT which is still positive PTL and to call my OBGYN.

She tells me its old blood because this time its brown. Maybe its just left over from before. She is still going to schedule me a ultrasound. This info isn't coming right from her but its what her office is telling me.

I pray and pray I get canceled Tuesday night but I don't. We are too busy. I try to muster up the emotional strength to go into work and help other women birth their babies into the world. Something I am increasingly scared I will be doing way too soon. Work goes okay despite my occasional teary moments when ppl ask me how I'm doing. I had a great patient who made the night better. I try to "take it easy" as the Dr told me to do but try as I may  NOT to have to lift my pt I do. And then later she fainted on the toilet so I don't think holding her up was "taking it easy" but I had 3 other RN"s help after I put the emergency light on.

By the end of my shift I am still spotting. One of the residents tells me to go to the ER. They can run tests and that way I don 't have to keep worrying about the what ifs. I decide to go home and go to bed instead. I'm hoping I will wake up and it will have stopped. But it doesn't. So I call my OBGYN again. This time she talks to me herself! Which makes me feel better but also like I'm bugging her. She asks if I am having any one sided pain. No. If the bleeding is heavy. No. Cramping? No just pressure. She then says she will schedule me an ultra sound for Monday because I will be 7 wks and it's hard to see baby at this point. She also wants me to get some lab work done today and then Friday. (HCG and Progesterone)

I'm going into work early today to get my labs drawn. I'm glad something is actually being done so I can at least have peace of mind as to what is going on. I have to work again tonight and I really don't want to. But maybe it helps keep my mind of things.

Please keep your prayers coming. I am so emotional and just drained to my core. I just want this first trimester to be done!